12 Hours after 11:11pm

Last night, the phone rang at 11:11pm.

11:11, I'm thinking. What. What am I thinking.

Today, as soon as I started to crumble, shaking my head at "the numbers, what are these numbers doing and what do they mean, maybe I'm just tired", someone across the room playfully jabbed at another, "Hey! It's 11:11, make a wish." My laughter and delight exploded the sameness in the room. I looked up past the ceiling tiles and smiled "thank you."

It's just a word I can't put on it, but my God, I'm trying. And this time, I won't give up.



"Life is hard
And so am I
You'd better give me something
So I don't die
Novocaine for the soul
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out
Life is white
And I am black
Jesus and his lawyer
Are coming back
Oh my darling
Will you be here
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out
Guess who's living here with the great undead
This paint by numbers life is fucking with my head, once again
Life is good
And I feel great
Cuz mother says I was
A great mistake
Novocaine for the soul
You'd better give me something to fill the hole
Before I sputter out"
- The Eels, "Novocaine for the Soul"