observation 309.24.12

And then, all of a sudden, it stopped. Until my birthday 38 days ago, until yesterday, and right now.

38 days ago, I'm riding in the van with my best friend as usual. It's all normal, all the same, everything's covered in cigar ashes and wrappers, going for pho ga. He turns down Madison and turns on his XM. "Happy Birthday", by that 80's band I can never remember, was playing. As if someone tapped my shoulder again, I looked over, and it was 12:12pm.

By accident, I get reconnected with a friend from long, long ago with a strong bond. For what reason, I don't know. One bond exits, another enters. I almost don't deserve such universal kindness. 11:11am, 12;12pm, 2:22pm are the running numbers. Yesterday was an emotionally hard day full of decisions for me. And every time I thought of what I should be doing instead of what I was doing, I'd see those numbers, nudging me back along, reassuring me that someone is out there, tapping me on the shoulder, only when I begin to think of the winding path I'd like to follow if only I had the nerve.

I do have the nerve.

It's 1:11am.